Living as Becoming : the emptiness project # 14

Helen Keller

Like a snake, my heart
has shed its skin.
I hold it here in my hand,
full of honey and wounds

Frederico Garcia Lorca

Living from the Unarmored Heart :: Birth of the Self

As a vehicle
for giving birth to the Self,
live from the unarmored heart

1. Replace “identity” with conscious suffering
2. Trade conscious suffering for “unarmored aliveness”

“Attempt to build a nothingness tree
Which carries its heart leaflessly”

When we live from the unarmored heart,
fragments of memory,
fragments of childhood,
break through into conscious awareness

When we live from the unarmored heart,
childhood memories –
colors, sounds, smells, images, feelings –
arise from beneath the armor of our identity-cocoon

Our identity-
our name,
our defensive configuration,
our “who i think i am”-
falls away

We become instead:
arising sensations,
arising feelings,
arising memories,

arising insights (!)

experienced by conscious awareness

Arising sensations, feelings, memories, & insights
replace identity’s compulsive arising-thoughts

The direct, unarmored experience of the world
includes “suffering,”
as conscious awareness replaces identity

Our “suffering” represents the originally-unbearable,
early-childhood experiences
that forced us to create an identity
as a flight from overwhelming sensations & feelings

All the pre-language body memories
of overwhelming childhood sensations & feelings
which led to the creation of our identity

can now re-emerge into embodied awareness = birth of our Self

As our identity transitions to embodied awareness,
everything becomes more intensely felt

We are opening ourselves
to our “childhood” : our direct bodily experience of all arising sensations, feelings & memories without escaping to our identity

Living can function either as a defensive flight from sensations, feelings & memories into compulsive thoughts,
in which case we are living from identity,

or living can function as a path to embodied sensations, feelings & memories = unarmored aliveness

When our identity surrenders to “feeling everything,”
unifying sensations, feelings, memories, & insights,
past, present, future,
personal, cultural, archetypal,

then living functions as a vehicle for the birth of our Self

Sitting in & living from the “chaos”
of arising sensations, feelings, memories, & insights,
we are able to shed our identity

= “Déjà vu” breaking through = sensation-memories breaking through = “reality” breaking through = the Self breaking through

Sitting in our “chaos”
is a way of eliminating our need for
dissociative armor

We replace our identity-armor
with embodied consciousness
which directly experiences sensations, feelings, memories, & insights
without the need for dissociative flight

This allows the unarmored aliveness
of our Self to emerge

Our Self is born from out of its identity-cocoon.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” 

Helen Keller

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